did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
