can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize