I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
