Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
