please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
