how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
