kristin has been a bad kristin
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Buhtt sex?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
