Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This is my gift to your gina
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
