Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you're hired as official boob wrangler
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
