You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize