just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
