He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
