New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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