im six kinds of drunk right now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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