I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize