White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
