i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
