He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize