I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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