The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
