after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
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"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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