I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
