You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
