I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
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Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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