Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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