Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
