You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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