it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
