I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
