i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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