Pappa wants mamma naked
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just want to make out with him forever
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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