I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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