So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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