So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
