she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
