We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize