It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
