Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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