If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
