Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's just like the Real World with babies
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This is the high leading the old right now
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
