Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you inspire me to be a worse person
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
