alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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