8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sorry about my life...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
