i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
