I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
