I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
