I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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