can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize