You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better