my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw