sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
