we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
3 2 1 whiskey
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize