I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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