a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
