i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
