It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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