I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
