I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
