his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
