that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
