Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
