dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
