You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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