oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
