it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize