Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
