his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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